Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Last Hurrah

Those who know me well had one question for me when I told them that I would be competing for the title of Miss Thousand Islands this summer. “Why?” Truth be told, I had unofficially “retired” from pageants, particularly MAO pageants, after the past pageant season…after competing in just one prelim. Let me explain.

My year as Miss Westchester was a great experience—one that I documented that here on my blog! I loved getting involved in my community on a deeper level, meeting some incredible new people and making lifelong friends among my pageant sisters, and serving as a role model for young women in Westchester County. Of course, I didn’t need a crown to do all of those things, and after my “reign”, I continued to volunteer with My Sisters’ Place (albeit in a more “behind the scenes” manner than PSA filming!), support the Westchester Children’s Association (a favorite advocacy group of mine), and make decisions that I felt would serve as a positive example to youth I came in contact with. However, I learned from my year that having a crown can help to draw more attention to the causes that you believe in—and naturally, I wondered what it would be like to carry a state title, which would afford for opportunities to serve throughout New York—not just in Westchester County. However, my experience at Miss New York USA was disappointing. It had nothing to do with my placement (or, I should say, non-placement...haha!), and more to do with the fact that I felt like I was participating in a system that didn’t care at all about internal beauty, and only focused on the exterior. From the start of my time spent in pageantry, I felt that I was a better fit for the Miss America Organization (my very first pageant was actually an MAO local back in early 2011).  After passing on my Miss Westchester crown last year, I began to prepare for the 2013 MAO local pageant season.
The preparation process was long, but enjoyable. In the Miss America system, the interview segment of competition is longer (10 minutes) and of course, there is the addition of a 90-second talent routine. I wasn’t extremely worried about interview—while I spent time polishing up my paperwork and preparing for difficult questions, I love meeting new people and speaking about my platform. I almost always leave interview feeling confident and content with my performance. Talent, on the other hand, was something that I feared. As a child, I took almost ten years of dance classes and dabbled in music through choir and piano lessons. However, I took a step back from those hobbies when I was in middle school to focus on figure skating. I don’t regret that decision—I love being on the ice, and had the chance to compete at a national championship with my synchronized skating team—but you can’t exactly figure skate for a Miss America talent. (Actually, I take that back. You can—if you’re willing to pay for your own synthetic ice and are able to find a pageant willing to take the time to set it up for you during the talent portion of competition. However, just one look at the cost of the synthetic ice and I realized I was going to have to find a talent that did not involve lacing up my skates.)
I threw myself into piano lessons. For months, I visited my teacher and practiced for hours each week. I improved, but it was a struggle for me. In spite of months of training, when my first local pageant arrived in February of 2013, I wasn’t ready to premier my piece and had to modify it for competition. Still, I decided to compete for the experience. In spite of my weak talent, I felt good in the other areas of competition. I had been working out regularly for swimsuit, scored an awesome interview outfit at BCBG on clearance, and borrowed a beautiful evening gown from my amazing teen sister queen. But the day of the pageant, I flopped. After feeling great after my interview, I found my nervousness surrounding the talent competition influencing the rest of my performance on stage. I stuttered during my on-stage question in spite of a fairly solid answer overall, felt like I rushed during swimsuit, and almost tripped as I entered and left the stage for evening gown. I was so unbelievably disappointed in myself.
As lame as it might make me sound, I decided to stop competing after that day. I just couldn’t measure up to the high expectations I knew that the Miss America Organization placed on the talent competition, and thought that the time I was spending practicing the piano daily would be better served focusing on my upcoming college graduation and finishing my senior year strongly. The disappointment began to fade away as I watched some wonderful ladies win the next few local titles and truly felt like I had made the right decision to stop competing. But in the back of my mind, I continued to wonder “what if?”
In March, two of my favorite pageant friends, Amanda and Megan, competed in their final local pageant of the year together. After the pageant, we all headed out for dinner together. Their year of competing was over—but Amanda was already thinking about the future. Specifically, she mentioned the upcoming Miss Thousand Islands Pageant. I mentioned my desire to compete again, and she surprised me by saying that the pageant was open to the entire state. That night, I decided to enter the pageant. 2014 is my final year of eligibility in the Miss America system, and I decided  to go out with a bang. I may not be exceptionally talented, but I am exceptionally dedicated to bettering myself and giving everything that I do my very best effort. I think that is why my first local performance disappointed me so much—I let myself down. I’ve learned since then the importance of valuing the fact that I try something, in spite of making mistakes, over always performing perfectly. Nobody is perfect—and part of what makes being a pageant queen special is the fact that we aren’t trying to be held up on pedestals as shining examples of womanly perfection. Instead, we hit the ground running each day, inspiring those around us by overcoming the challenges life throws our way with class, grace, and (of course) a smile.
Today, I am content knowing that regardless of the outcome of the Miss Thousand Islands pageant, I will leave Clayton, NY with a smile on my face. Each of the young ladies that I met at the pageant workshop was wonderful—smart, full of passion, and ready to take the world around her by storm. I am looking forward to kicking off the Miss New York 2014 local season in just a few short days, and giving my all this year as I give pageantry one last hurrah.
Love,
Sarah
P.S. Another “Why?” I get asked is “Why are you competing for the title of Miss Thousand Islands? It’s like five hours away!” I do have a few answers to that question…

1.       It is the longest running local in the state of New York, which means that it has an amazing legacy. The directors are committed to supporting their titleholder throughout her year of service—not just as she competes at Miss NY, but as she serves the Thousand Islands area. It would be an honor to represent such a wonderful community and give back to them the support they give to their titleholder each year.

2.       If my wildest dream were to come true next year, and I was crowned Miss New York, I’d be serving the entire state! The drives to the Thousand Islands to serve would be great practice for that job.

3.       The five hour drive? It really isn’t so bad. It is scenic (so many cute old buildings and towns), and it ends in one of the most beautiful views I’ve seen in New York: the sunset over the St. Lawrence river, as seen from my bright pink Adirondack chair off of Riverside Drive in Clayton.

2 comments:

  1. Amazing post Sarah! If you have the honor of being crowned as Miss TI 2014, Shelby is going to love you =)

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    1. That is quite the compliment coming from a blogger like yourself! Loved reading through some of your experiences as Miss TI :)

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